There is much excitement that comes with getting a new puppy or dog. Even before bringing our new family member home, we have ideas of what it will be like. We start thinking about future adventures that we will have. We already have expectations of what our lives will be like with them. 

Sometimes we get a dog hoping that it will be very similar to a previous dog. Having that bond and then losing it is extremely difficult. Often times people will get a dog that is the same breed or breeds as a previous dog hoping that the dog’s personality is the same. 

In both of these circumstances, people can feel disappointed that the reality is not the same as what they had expected. Dogs are complex animals. It’s not as simple as “if you treat them right”. Behavior is complex as well. Just because your previous golden retriever behaved a certain way, doesn’t mean that your new one will behave the same way. Just because you adopt a puppy at 8 weeks, doesn’t mean that they will love all things and won’t have any fears. 

In my opinion, one of the most difficult things about adopting a dog is accepting the dog you have isn’t the dog you were expecting. I have had many conversations with clients regarding their dogs. I have had to face reality myself. My Daisy will never be a therapy dog even though I took her in at 3 days of age along with her littermates and mom. She was not a blank slate like I thought she would be. Before attending The Academy for Dog Trainers, I truly believed that if you have a young puppy, you can train them to do anything. I actually believed it was in how they were treated. Genetics, the mother’s environment while pregnant, and more play a large role in the dog’s emotional state. They are not born as blank slates. 

I have also come to learn the harsh reality that I will never find another dog like my Lady. It doesn’t matter how many German Shepherd/Husky mixes I come across, none are like her in every way. There may be a few similarities but that’s the extent.

The best advice that I can give you is to appreciate the dog that you have in front of you. Appreciate their little quirks, their fears, their anxiety, their poor manners, and the time that you spend with them. Grieve what you thought you would have with them. Remember that their time here is short and you should make the most of it. Work with your dog on their fears, anxiety, poor manners, etc. The more time you spend with them and helping them, the more likely you’ll build a strong bond with them. 

Let go of your expectations and accept them for who they are.